Top Ten: MMA Movie Pitches

     

 

This might be a good time to try the ole' Popcorn trick.

Recently there has been a growing trend of Mixed Martial Arts based films.  Couple with this trend, we have also witnessed many popular Mixed Martial Artists making the jump to the silver screen (most recently; Randy Couture and Fedor Emelianenko).  In hopes of seeing this trend continue, the Dojo took a page out of TheMMAPost’s book and has decided to give you a Top Ten list of some of the types of MMA films we’d like to see in the near future.   

# 10) Land Before Time 

Ken Shamrock, Don Frye, Royce Gracie, and Art Jimmerson star in this animated classic.  The film follows the three pioneers in their journey through the prehistoric time periods of Mixed Martial Arts.  Battling Triceratops and John McCain, the men band together to establish Mixed Martial Arts as an enjoyable past time for future generations.

# 9) Half Baked 3

Joe Rogan, Eddie Bravo, and ‘real Movie Star’ Seth Rogan star in this stoner classic.  This movie doesn’t have a plot, because it doesn’t need one.  The movie follows the three men through an hour and a half of penis jokes and magical weed smoking.  Keep an eye out for the Jay and Silent Bob cameo at the 37th minute mark.

#8 ) Mission Impossible 

Fedor Emelianenko and Anderson Silva star in this fast-paced, action flick.  The plot centers around challengers vying to defeat Emelianenko and Silva, although no one is successful.  Emelianenko’s and Silva’s performances against their opponents prove that defeating them is an impossible feat.

# 7) Harry Potter: The Quidditch World Cup

This film could be the first in the Harry Potter series that is not based solely on one of the books.  The entire cast of the previous films return, along with Lyoto Machida who is cast as the Golden Snitch, because of his famed elusiveness.

# 6) There Will Be Blood

Alright, so this one breaks the mold.  While this movie wouldn’t be an entirely new film, per se.  This would simply be a repackaging of the famed bout between Bj ‘The Prodigy’ Penn and Joe ‘Daddy’ Stevenson from UFC 80.  Because this fight had enough blood in it to rival a Saw film.

Numbers 5 through 1: After the Jump.

# 5) King Kong

The beast of a man, Brock Lesnar stars as the famed King Kong.  Instead of the traditional plot where King Kong takes over New York City, this updated version will follow Lesnar as he takes over the UFC.

# 4) 007

British fighter Michael ‘The Count’ Bisping takes over the famed role of James Bond.  Forget gadgets and high-tech accessories, the Count uses his huge hands to pound through a Russian Mafia boss, played by Aleksander Emelianenko, and his cronies to save the world.

# 3) Chariots of Fire  

Remakes seem to be en vogue in Hollywood at the moment.  A remake of the classic film Chariots of Fire would be exceptional.  Kalib Starnes would take the lead role as he has already displayed his great running skills, as he ran around the cage against Nate Quarry at UFC 83.

 # 2) Office Space 2

This Docu-drama follows the inner workings of the Pro Elite offices and seeks to explain the company’s demise.  Starring the one and only Jared ‘Skala’ Shaw, this documentary will be a staple for years to come in Intro to Sports Business college courses as a perfect example of how not to run your company.

# 1 ) Back Door Beauties 8 

The greatest film of the series, and quite possibly the greatest cinematic undertaking ever.  Gina Carano stars in two hours of uncensored, unadulterated girl-on-girl action.  Greatest movie ever? Yep.

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