Vaselinegate!

It needs to be said… I’m going to say it…  Every time a controversy has happened since 1974, the media has added “gate” as a suffix [author’s note: am *I* the media now because I am writing this? Oh the self loathing!].

First it was Watergate, then we got to watch Ollie North wax patriotic during Contragate, then Slick Willy got his willy slicked for Whitewatergate. Now it’s 2009 and we have another BJ related “gate”and just like the last one, this one is in search of an excuse to explain what happened. Welcome to VASELINEGATE!

It’s been a bit since the GSP drubbing of B.J. Penn but the talk is still rocking along on the forums out there and most recently my eyes fell upon the following words: “…He’s [B.J.] asking for GSP’s license to be suspended, a $250,000 fine, accused him of ingesting something that made him slippery…”

*SIGH* They call it WATER! People drink it and they SWEAT! And when they sweat they become fu^k$ng slippery. In fact I’m pretty sure I’ve heard commentators during longer fights mention how a particular submission wasn’t going to work at the latter point of the fight because the fighter was covered in sweat and had become slippery. I know when I am training at the Jiu Jitsu academy without a gi that mere mortals slip out of submissions all the time. So this leads me to think that what we have here folks is one of three things:

1) B.J. perhaps correctly has assumed that GSP is not a mere mortal and thus could not become sweaty so it must be an illegal substance!

2) Someone wants to see a B.J. – GSP 3 and have it sell more than 18 PPVs.  Controversy sells?

3) There is actually some credence to BJ’s argument. I refuse to believe he’s a whiny bitch or excuse maker. Too many people I know have trained with the guy and spoken highly of him. He’s a warrior. But we all watched that fight and I think we all agree that even if GSP was a bit too slippery that, at best, BJ might have been able to turns things into more of a stalemate for a time, staving off the beating for longer. I don’t think it affected the outcome of the fight if that was the case.

So there ya’ have it. We don’t need to write a whole book on this. Those are the facts wrapped in my oh so unbiased (yeah right!) opinion. I can even end this on a positive, constructive note. B.J., unless you are more concerned with looking good than feeling good, try to learn from Shinya Aoki:

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