How not to be a douche bag – holiday office party

Well folks that are still employed, it’s that time of year again: holiday office parties. While you may think of this as a time to drink free booze and mingle with the big guys, think again.

Office parties are not like the club on a Friday night where you can molest grind up on other girls and rub your junk on them, drink to the point of oblivion, and take home the only girl left at the bar at 2 am.

No folks, your co-workers will judge you for this. Your every action will be judged: how well you handle your liquor, how you converse with others outside of work, your stellar dance moves (think elaine from seinfeld), and again, how well you handle your liquor.

It is not appropiate to get sh*tfaced even if the alcohol is free. Why you ask? Think about all the stupid things you have done while you were wasted. Do you really want to tell your boss how much you despise him? Or go home with the fugly co-worker with the nice personality?

Luckily for you, here are a few tips to avoid being the douche bag at your holiday party:

1. Don’t get drunk.

2. Don’t get drunk and puke on others or in the bathroom. You will forever be known as a pussy until your next place of employment.

3. Don’t get drunk and dance.

4. Pretend that you like your co-workers.

5. Don’t get drunk and tell people how you really feel about them or others in the office.

6. Don’t be the first one to arrive or leave. Don’t be that kiss-ass who can’t wait to par-tay! And saying that, don’t be the douche that leaves the party first. As soon as you walk out the door, you will talked about. It will like as if you do not “care” about your job and employees; that spending 40 hours a week with them just isn’t enough time. Be the second one to leave.

7. Oh, and don’t get drunk and makeout or sleep with co-workers.

8.  Don’t get drunk off the free booze. Pick up a bottle on the way home and get sh*tfaced there.

9. Remember, don’t be a douche bag in general.

Happy Holidays!