It has been said that there are 1,001 uses for Duct tape.  While this may be true, there must be atleast 1,002 uses for Bacon.

Today, we will show you yet another way to use bacon to make yourself look like Roy Nelson.

The Bacon Cheese Roll Up

(Props to Food Proof)

Step 1: Weave Bacon

Step 2: Cook Bacon

Step 3: Cheese It

Step 4: Roll It

Step 5: Cut It

Step 6: Eat It

Bacon, glorious bacon.  The Dojo is always looking out for the latest and greatest uses for bacon (Example 1, Example 2) and this is yet another clever way to consume some pork.  So, go grab yourself some salted-cheesed meat and enjoy yourself: just be careful not to eat too much or you’ll end up looking like this guy.

protect yourself from the enemy: vagina

“Don’t forget - Put it on before you put it.”

According to sheknows.com, this is one of the important subjects we stressed to the troops fighting overseas during World War II.

Apparently our guys couldn’t keep their privates in their pants. The government got pissed about the amount of money they we were paying on venereal diseases, hence came this cute little slogan to encourage safe sex with strangers. Yay!

I don’t know why we don’t still use this slogan….just think about all the unwanted pregnancies this slogan could have prevented.

Apparently our boys were busy over there. Here are some other positive progranda posters from that era:

We can think of some great ways to spend 100 grand:  buy a couple new cars, maybe put a down payment on a home, or perhaps spend it on hookers and blow.  But spending it on a tent?  Not so much.

But then again we’re not a UFC champion,  Bj Penn is.

Bj Penn is training day and night for his upcoming fight against the UFC’s Welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre, literally.  Penn has recently set up a high altitude tent in his bedroom and plans to sleep in this tent every night leading up to the fight.  The tent simulates a high altitude environment by limiting the oxygen concentration in the air, thus it encourages the body to adapt to the environment by increasing the number of red blood cells and enzymes in the body, similar to blood doping.  While the tent is an unconventional way for a fighter to improve their cardio, it has proved sucessful nonetheless.

Contrary to what you might think this isn’t Penns first go around with the device, he used the tent in preperation for his fight against Sean Sherk and we all know how that turned out.  With all these devices turning him into the bionic man, it’s only a matter of time before we can no longer call him ‘The Prodigy’ as we’ll have to start reffering to him as Bj ‘Bubble Boy’ Penn.

Check out Bj set up his tent below (Props to BjPenn.com)

Mixed Martial Arts now has its own Cheech & Chong….  Rogan & Bravo.

Eddie Bravo is staring down Rogan's goods. (Props to High Times)

In what should come as a surprise to absolutely no one, Joe Rogan smokes weed.  Shocking, huh?  Recently, High Times shined a little spotlight on the puff-puff-pass habits of UFC commentator Joe Rogan and MMA personality Eddie Bravo. The synopsis of the article? Rogan and Bravo like to smoke weed, alot.  While you shouldn’t be surprised, this is not uncharted territory for either men.  Rogan has made High TIme’s list of top stoner comedians and Bravo’s herbal habit has also been documented by High Times as well.

The Dojo’s got funnies.  So here’s a joke for you:

A pitbull, a spider, and a roach walk into a boxing gym. What do you get?

A sparring session between Andrei Arlovski and Anderson Silva….

The one and only, Freddie Roach.

Okay, We’re no Carlos Mencia but atleast we tried (and atleast we don’t steal our jokes). Stolen and shitty jokes aside, MMAWeekly is reporting on a situation that is no laughing matter.  In an interview with the highly regarded boxing coach Freddie Roach (we may not have jokes, but we got rhymes), Roach revealed that both Andrei ‘The Pitbull’ Arlovski and Anderson ‘The Spider’ Silva have been training in his famed, Wild Card Boxing Gym.  Roach also revealed in the interview of a very interesting scenario:

Towards the end of an interview in his gym’s spare room, Roach revealed that UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva was dropping in to spar with “The Pitbull” that night. Indirectly, he also hinted that Silva’s dreams of boxing Roy Jones Jr. were not dead.

Shit.  The 240 lb. Pitbull and the 185 lb. Spider throwing padded punches at one another? We are interested. There’s just some shit that you never expect to be mixed together; Jay-Z and the Beatles, liquor and milk, and Silva and Arlovski.  But sometimes the crazy shit turns out to the best.

Screaming MiMi’s- A severe case of the chocolate sphincter squirts; diarrhea.

What the UFC 35 flyer should have looked like.

Yikes! It turns out that at UFC 35 there was a severe case of the flu and mud butt, aka ‘the runs’. According to the one and only Pat Militech, he just recently revealed in an interview with Sherdog.com, that at the UFC 35 show “everybody in the show got sick with a really violent flu.” It turns out that because of this sickness, the beast of a man Kevin Randleman had to wear three pairs of fight shorts, because he was squirting poo during the freakin’ fight.  Other fighters that night, like Dave Menne were so dehydrated that in Menne’s case, he was hallucinating during the fight (seeing the zombie apocalypse while cage fighting is probablly the worst case scenario).  This was also the night of the first Jens Pulver-Bj Penn bout and Millitech reports that these fighters were also violently ill. While Millitech’s story is incredibly gross and disgusting, to think that ‘Babulu’ Sobral had to smell Randleman’s screaming squirts during the fight is just enough to make anyone’s day better.

MMA fighters are always coming up with new and unique ways to train and get the upper hand for an upcoming fight, but Wanderlei Silva may have just taken the cake. If you’ve got the time (which since you’ve gotten this far you apparently do) take a little gander at the video below and marvel at Silva as he lifts weights, flips tires, and drags sleds all the while looking like the inspiration behind Fallout 3. It honestly makes you wonder if there will be anything left of Rampage once “The Axe Murderer’s” finished at UFC 92. The guy is doing all his training with a scuba diving mask on and tape covering his nose forcing him to breath through his mouth. I don’t want to be on the guys dick too much, but I know if I taped over my nose and ran down the street I would be done before I hit the pavement. Bottom line: Come December 27th you can fine me glued to my TV with the phone off the hook.

We’re not sure how the world would continue to exist if it wasn’t for YouTube.  I mean how else would we watch videos of kids blowing stuff up and people painting with Cheetos residue? Because we’re always scouring YouTube for the latest and greatest we have found some of the hottest MMA training videos, and face it: if you want to be like the best you got to train like the best. And these videos will help you with that. So we present to you, the Top Three Most Outrageous MMA training videos.

# 3) The Self-Defense Tips that the Gracie Family Doesn’t Want You to Know!

Could you imagine Royce using these at UFC:1? Maybe Art Jimmerson would’ve had a shot.

# 2) Kimo’s Roid-Rage Defense

Fierce fighting is the best fighting. HUAH!

# 1) Bas Rutten’s Street Defense

Bas Rutten is a straight up hustlin’ BAMF.  That being said, his sound effects for his punches are straight out of the 1960’s Batman TV show.  ”BAWNG, BAWNG, BAWNG, KaPOW!”

Hey there Cowgirl!

Looks like Jennifer Ellison forgot her top at the beach. It’s a good thing she has hands to cover up those nips. How exactly do you misplace a bikini top?

Pole Fitness at the 2012 Olympics? (drunkenstepfather)

Stripper Fail. (youtube)

4 Rules for the Mens Locker Room (holytaco)

World’s Fattest Man has sex via cement ramp. (asylum)

Mannequin facial hair. (buzzfeed)

MMA Lifetime Movie trailer. (cagepotato)

Eva Longoria upskirt pic. (hollywoodtuna)

Dumb teenager gets knocked out and stays down. (nothingtoxic)

Victoria Secret Model: Izabel Goulart

The Victoria Secret Fashion Show gave us an early x-mas present when Izabel Goulart strutted on her goods on stage. AskMen has plenty more pics for your viewing.

Megan Fox’s GQ outtakes. (hollywoodtuna)

The Price (and Day) is Right for this 19 year old. (break)

Asian girl shoves condom in her mouth. (scuzzy.tv)

Huntington, W. VA is nation’s fattest town. (asylum)

Girl cousins makeout. (scuzzy.tv)

“I Cum Too Fast” - By Jon Lajoie (comedy)

EHarmony rejection letter. (photobucket)

Jennifer Stano (gorillamask)

Mormon Musical? (filmdrunk)